Like a Child

So, I've come to a conclusion that if the energy and time I spend on unproductive-facebook-wanderings/stalking was reduced to perhaps half at the minimum, I could potentially blog everyday. How sad, I know, but sometimes the realization of your own sadness is the only way for you to change your lifestyle, that, and the conviction from the Holy Spirit of course.

While looking for apartments yesterday, I realized that suddenly I didn't want to move out of the dorms. Not that I don't want to apartment with my lovely apartment mates, but the idea of moving out into an apartment carries along so many other responsibilities and feels like the gateway to all 'grown-up-ness".
From my freshmen year in high school to the middle of junior year I'd wanted to grow up so fast. My composure and the way I forced my mind to think was very 'old' and "mature" - according to people around me- and when I reached the end of my junior year I realized I really didn't have to grow up that fast and began to act like my age, a silly 16 year old who cared about nothing but catching the best waves at the oddest times of the day and hosting bbqs by the pool. The turning point of my realization that it's ok to be a child was also very sad. Like I said before, once the scales that have been blinding your own pathetic-ness has fallen, it is so much easier to change. Now that I'm 20, I feel the pressure of being an 'adult' creeping ever so slyly over me. I just want to be a child forever. But what is it really to be "like a child"? No responsibility? Honesty? No worries? No doubts? No trust issues? taking naps? haha <-- idk about that one.
Whatever the definition of "being like a child" entails for you, just be one anyway. I believe in maturity, but I also believe in being a mature child. Like a child, I come before God and say Father I don't know anything. I can't do anything. I just want to play and sit on your lap and laugh and cry. I'm completely vulnerable and there's nothing I can do to protect myself, I just need You. My lifeline is You. Feed me, take care of me, play with me. That's all I ask. And if you send me on errands I shall take them as missions and fulfill them to the best of my ability not that I can please you, but simply because you are my Father and I want to do what must be done. How cool that You the God of the universe wants to partner with me in the greatness of which you have planned.