Unsure

A medley of Thanks

Thank you for befriending me. If you hadn't, at that exact moment, who knows if we'd ever be friends? I am constantly challenged by you, and you teach me so much, not only about spiritual stuff but about real things, like make-up, and fashion, and noonchee. Three years really is too short, but I'm not afraid. What we have is clearly, something not disrupted by oceans or borders. You have me for life, and beyond. One day, I will say wonderful things about you at your wedding. Trust.


I want to give you a great big hug every time I see you. I don't know why, there's a part of me that wants to mother you, and yet I want to be babied by you at the same time. I think I know you, but sometimes I really think I don't. And I think you do it on purpose, just for the sake of wanting to be mysterious. And I think that's hilarious. Thanks for letting me in, on that oh-so-mysterious life of yours. Thanks for protecting me, and loving me, and supporting me, and bringing out that weird smile I do, when you know I'm thinking of something, but I only say "idk"... just for the sake of wanting to be mysterious.


I am puzzled by you at times. A good puzzling. Stimulating in fact, and I shan't even begin to imagine UCLA without you. It would be, very lonesome in the world of my mind. I would be scraping by in the system of Christanity maybe. But instead I am here. Because of your gentle push. Sometimes, you don't even know you're pushing me, but you do. I think He makes it secret on purpose. Maybe it's more fun for Him.
My teacher, my friend, thank you for being.


If you were a man, and had all the characteristics of a man, I would've fallen in love with you. First off, you never fail to make me feel loved, supported, and interesting. Yes, you make me feel interesting because you are always so interested in what I have to say, what I am thinking, and the very just essence of who I am. You are funny, and charming. and caring, and you are real. That's my favorite part... You're so real in every aspect. You Love to the most of your ability. Your life is beautiful. You are beautiful. Your thoughts, and your passion for truth and THE REAL HIM is so beautiful. We will forsure go on a double date to the fountain. One day, one day.


To be continued...

Joy found me in blueberries

I found joy in the sweet blue
berries
inside my medium-bowl-two-topping-special
from red mango.
Brown boots,
lilac heart,
green spoon,
white yogurt,
pastel past,
fuming future.
sweet.

My dream

Mechanic Monday

It feels strange when you look into a life, that could've been yours. Or are the fb pictures merely a selection of only the greatest memories placed all in one place to deceive the onlookers of a great, fulfilling, easy, and happy life? We all do selective picture taking and sharing, I suppose. I am here today, because of Grace, the Grace to chose to do so. I am me, not them, I am here, not there. But sometimes I can't truly get that into my thick, disillusioned skull.

Lately, I am experiencing nothing, but everything.

Later on Today

Conviction? or simply a reminder? or something new? like a wave of love, I think, that tastes different?

The machine guns have stopped firing.
All I have,
is more than enough.

Today. Dang it.

Today,
I had a sudden attack of the 'i-wish-i-had-a-boyfriend' missile.
It was more like a machinegun,
ramming my every thought during my environmental policy class.
Weird place, I know.
For some reason it's something I am ashamed to admit,
because it shows I am needy, like every other human being on this planet.
It shows my vulnerability,
and my unwilling confession
that I too am that girl, who wishes for that guy (whoever he may be) to love me.
Usually, I am not that girl,
but today,
today was one of those days.

I do, hope

To hope, is to live. To live is to love. To love is to wait. To wait is to sacrifice.